Separating fact from fiction—and why having the right legal team matters.
Divorce is a deeply personal and often emotionally charged experience. Whether you’re exploring your options, currently navigating the process, or simply want to understand more about how divorce works, it’s important to separate myth from reality. There’s no one-size-fits-all divorce—and believing the wrong information can make an already difficult situation even harder.
At Lommen Abdo, P.A., we understand how overwhelming this process can be. Our experienced family law attorneys—licensed in both Minnesota and Wisconsin—help clients address the legal, emotional, and financial complexities of divorce with clarity and care. Below, we tackle some of the most common misconceptions about divorce and explain what really happens during this important transition.
Misconception 1: Divorce Always Means a Long, Hostile Court Battle
It’s a common fear: once divorce papers are filed, everything turns into a bitter legal war. But in reality, most divorces don’t involve dramatic courtroom showdowns.
In fact, many cases are resolved through mediation, negotiation, or collaborative law, which allow both parties to work through issues respectfully and efficiently—without the stress and cost of a trial. While some situations do require court intervention, many divorcing couples reach agreements on property, custody, and support without setting foot in a courtroom.
The truth? Divorce doesn’t have to be combative. When you work with the right legal team, you’ll get guidance on the best resolution path—whether that’s a cooperative approach or more traditional litigation.
Misconception 2: Children Always Suffer Most in a Divorce
Many parents fear that divorce will automatically harm their children, but the reality is more nuanced. While change is difficult, how parents handle the divorce plays a bigger role in a child’s well-being than the divorce itself.
Children are incredibly resilient—especially when their parents commit to co-parenting, communicating openly, and creating a stable post-divorce environment. Courts in Minnesota and Wisconsin focus on what’s in the best interests of the child, not on punishing one parent over the other. If both parents remain supportive and involved, children can adjust and thrive.
If you’re concerned about how your divorce will affect your kids, our family law attorneys can help you build a parenting plan that prioritizes their emotional health and long-term stability.
Misconception 3: The First Person to File Has an Advantage
You may have heard that “filing first” gives someone the upper hand. In most cases, this isn’t true. Courts treat both parties equally, regardless of who starts the process.
However, filing first can offer strategic benefits—like choosing the jurisdiction if spouses live in different counties or states, or setting the tone for the case. But the outcome of your divorce depends more on preparation, legal strategy, and negotiation than on who files first.
Our attorneys are ready to represent you whether you’re initiating a divorce or responding to a petition—and we’ll work with you to protect your rights from day one.
Misconception 4: Fathers Rarely Get Custody
It’s a persistent myth that mothers always win custody, but the law has evolved. Minnesota and Wisconsin courts base custody decisions on the best interests of the child, not the gender of the parent.
Both parents have equal opportunity to seek physical and legal custody. Courts look at each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment, support the child’s emotional development, and foster a relationship with the other parent. Shared custody or joint parenting plans are common, particularly when both parents are involved and capable.
If you’re a father going through divorce, don’t assume the odds are against you. With proper legal representation, you can secure a meaningful and active role in your child’s life.
Misconception 5: You Don’t Need a Lawyer for an Amicable Divorce
Even in cases where both spouses agree to divorce terms, hiring an attorney can be crucial. Divorce involves legal documents, financial disclosures, and future obligations—mistakes or oversights can have long-term consequences.
An experienced divorce lawyer ensures that your agreement is fair, enforceable, and protects your rights. They also make sure nothing is missed—from retirement account division to tax implications of spousal maintenance. An experienced attorney will be able to foresee and prevent future complications or unanticipated outcomes.
At Lommen Abdo, we help clients handle both contested and uncontested divorces efficiently, minimizing risk and maximizing peace of mind.
Misconception 6: Property Is Always Split 50/50
Dividing property “down the middle” may sound fair, but that’s not how it works in practice. Minnesota and Wisconsin follow the concept of equitable distribution, which means property is divided fairly—not necessarily equally.
Courts consider many factors, including the length of the marriage, each spouse’s financial situation, contributions to the household, and the needs of any children. This might result in a 60/40 split or even a different arrangement depending on the circumstances.
Whether you’re concerned about keeping the family home, dividing retirement accounts, or handling a business interest, our attorneys will help you understand your options and pursue a fair outcome.
Misconception 7: Adultery Always Affects the Divorce Outcome
While adultery can cause emotional pain, it doesn’t usually have a significant impact on property division or child custody—unless it directly affects finances or parenting.
Most courts focus on practical matters like income, parenting capacity, and future needs. In some cases, infidelity that involved misuse of marital funds could affect a financial settlement, but blame is generally not a major factor in legal outcomes.
We focus on the facts, not the emotions, to ensure your divorce is handled professionally and strategically.
Misconception 8: Once You’re Divorced, Everything Is Final
It’s common to think that once the divorce decree is signed, you’ll never have to revisit the issue—but that’s not always the case. Post-divorce modifications can arise when circumstances change, especially with regard to child support, custody, or parenting time.
If your income changes, your ex-spouse moves, or your child’s needs evolve, you may need to return to court to modify your divorce order. Our attorneys also assist with enforcement actions if a former spouse fails to follow court orders.
We’re here not just for your divorce—but for the ongoing legal needs that may arise after it.
Divorce Is a Process. Having the Right Legal Team Makes All the Difference.
Navigating divorce is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Lommen Abdo, P.A., our family law team provides compassionate, clear-headed guidance during every stage of the process. With attorneys licensed in both Minnesota and Wisconsin, we’re ready to help you understand your rights, evaluate your options, and move forward with confidence.
Considering divorce? Already in the process? Contact us today to schedule a consultation.